The Blog

Truth in Parenting

Tearing your hair out over lack of sleep, daycare decisions, homework enforcement, or what to do with the toddler tantrum? Want to feel better about your own tantrum as you try and manage it all? Read my Truth in Parenting blog for evidence-based reassurance (The Art and Science of . . . ), my own True Mom Confessions, and get a sneak peek of what my book offers with Autonomy-Supportive Parenting Diaries. Not sure where to start? Try here.

Autonomy-Supportive Parenting in the Real World: Homework Edition

For our homework conundrum, I aimed to balance what felt like several competing interests: nurturing my young son’s internal motivation for learning, respecting the teacher’s way of running her class, and coaching my child through doing things he doesn’t like. How do we achieve all this without homework turning into a daily power struggle?

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True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn

Am I A Good Mom?

We often tell ourselves and others “I’m such a bad Mom” or ask ourselves “am I a good Mom?” I do it all the time in a loop of automatic thinking that has been programmed in my brain, and I don’t even fully realize I’m doing it.

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True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn

COVID Diaries: Mom Needs a Break

Caring for them is not the same as loving them. I love them constantly and unconditionally (obviously). I do not want to care for them constantly and unconditionally. For those of you reading who are thinking, “what do you think you signed up for when you decided to have kids?” First, if you are reading this blog and asking this question, please email me – how did I find you? Second, there are a lot of parts of parenting that are impossible to realize beforehand. It is not an “informed consent” situation in many respects, but most of all, parenting in a pandemic is on no list anywhere.

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True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn

It Gets Easier

You get yourself back. It is obviously a different self once the parent part has irretrievably claimed your heart and soul, but you get you again. It might take some effort, lots of partner and village support, and deliberate choices on your part, but it happens.

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True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn

The Emotional Labor of Parenting

There is a largely unrecognized emotional labor of parenting. In my definition, this includes tuning into emotions underlying our children’s behaviors, restraining our own emotions in order to more effectively respond to theirs, and getting ahead of potential emotional landmines by taking action.

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True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn

The ANTI New Year's Resolutions: Looking Backwards Instead of Forwards

Perhaps most importantly, the slowing down encouraged by meditation and mindfulness-based thinking helped me realize the simplest truth: I have time. I have time to figure out my life and my future; I don’t need to run laps on the anxiety race track to get “there” as fast as possible, wherever “there” is. Taking this life thing one moment at a time, one Spotify playlist a time, one sitting-doing-nothing session at a time, may even help me know the “there” I’m heading toward.

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True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn True Mom Confessions Emily Edlynn

Temperament Is Everything

In writing and sharing this, I hope it sends out a sort of bat signal of support and compassion to all other parents struggling in the temperament equivalent of crossfit training. I’m sorry. It’s hard. It’s okay to not be “perfect” because it’s really exhausting and you’re doing your best. And you’re not alone.

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