The Blog
Truth in Parenting
Tearing your hair out over lack of sleep, daycare decisions, homework enforcement, or what to do with the toddler tantrum? Want to feel better about your own tantrum as you try and manage it all? Read my Truth in Parenting blog for evidence-based reassurance (The Art and Science of . . . ), my own True Mom Confessions, and get a sneak peek of what my book offers with Autonomy-Supportive Parenting Diaries. Not sure where to start? Try here.
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Moral Distress as a Mom: #familiesbelongtogether
I have felt a double whammy as a child psychologist acutely aware of the real trauma implications for these kids, and as a mom who can’t even bear the thought of forced separation from my children.
The Sick Day Test
The best test of my progress in mindful parenting: “working” at home with a “sick” 3-year-old.
Don't Call Me Lazy
It is an emblem of our modern parenthood that these ways to parent would even elicit the word, “lazy.”
The Ultimate Riddle: A 3-year-old and Sleep
10:07: Turn off my light and go to sleep.
11:22: Wake up to blood-curdling screams from the 3-year-old, who has instantaneously appeared in our room, like a horror film apparition.
The Unicorn: A Sick Day for Mom
As a Mom, the common cold, flu, and stomach bugs take on a whole new meaning. They are totally disruptive to any semblance of routine, ruin any good sleep stretches, can add major work and financial stress, and if we get sick too, we can’t even wallow in it because most of us don’t have our Moms next door to take care of us.
Too Many Toys
In this America, the land of excess, it has insidiously crept up on us with each birthday, holiday, random shopping trip, and vacation. Now we have an attic full of toys, a playroom full of toys, a bedroom full of toys, and a basement full of toys. A life full of toys, and full of mess.
A Mom, Three Kids, and Target
Meanwhile, other shoppers veer around and look at me with annoyed accusations in their stares – condemning me and my unruly children. I kind of want to disappear, and I kind of want to stand my ground and stare back with the message: “Hey! This is hard! We all make mistakes!”
The Universal Mom Cry of “Put On Your Shoes:” Blame the Brain
Do you hear my voice?
Do you hear the words I am saying to you?
In the six years of having at least a 2-year-old in the house to get ready, I have pleaded with these very words in an infinite loop.
The Road Trip: Finding Family
After our first day in Arkansas, my 8-year-old announced she wanted to live there forever. I have a theory it was because of the free desserts at lunch at my grandmother’s assisted living home, but I wonder if there was a deeper sense she had of the family connection that is often missing in our modern world of spread out families.
Mommy Rejection: A Rite of Parenting
When one or many of our children go through the developmentally normal phase of rejecting us, it can hurt. It can rub salt into a wound we may not have realized was so raw and open. Where is the gratitude for what I do for our family? This is where we may have a very human response to what can feel like superhuman expectations as a parent.
It Could Be Us, But It Wasn’t
This week, I thought of how many of us parents are wondering how to balance our fears with living life normally. How do we not want to keep our kids home from school just in case?
“Should”ing All Over Family Memories
So maybe we have these idealized visions of making family memories, because we really do remember the positive parts from our own childhoods – the feelings of closeness, tradition, and connection.
Why @thisisuscrying Is A Thing
The non-linear nature of the storytelling opens me up to feeling the bigness of those small, tender moments that I so wish I could tightly pack and store in my memory for perfect preservation.
“Who’s the Boss in Our House?”
This is the perfect illustration of what seems to be the biggest struggle for many of us in parenting: we are not in control. We can be in charge, at least most of the time, but control is an illusion – or delusion - depending on the day.
I Know Stuff . . . And My Toddler Spits in My Face
I know all the stuff so that I SHOULD know what to do, but none of this knowledge prepares me for managing the mystery that is a Toddler.
Guess What? We Don't Always Have to "Put Down Our Phones"
You don’t know what my morning was like. You don’t know how much attention I have given my children in every other moment today besides this reprieve at the park.
Everyone Yells
As a psychologist who promotes communication, positive family interactions, and focusing on strengths, I say this: we will all yell. But that's not all that counts, and the more you forgive yourself for it, the less you may actually do it.