Youth Sports in Overdrive: Is it Worth it?

“I Thought This Was Supposed to Be Fun!”

Last summer, my 9-year-old brandished a used tennis racket from Play It Again Sports for a week-long, 2-hour-a-day beginners tennis camp. Her eagerness quickly faded as she ended up with an instructor who was “so serious.” This easy-going child, always up for trying something new, immediately hated tennis and complained, “I thought this was supposed to be fun.”

Due to the risky trends of youth sports in recent years, the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued guidance recommending that youth do not specialize in sports until ages 12-13, take 1-2 days off a week, schedule two months of recovery a year, and participate in only one team per season. I know more children not following all of these guidelines than following, including my own 11-year-old competitive gymnast.

I live in one of the many American communities where it seems like every kid plays multiple sports. So many travel leagues, starting at astonishingly young ages. First graders playing tee-ball until 9 pm on school nights. Fourth graders who can barely find time for a birthday party because of softball tournament schedules. When I tell people my 7-year-old plays soccer, they ask “is he in a travel league?” Nope. Not as long as I can help it.

But the narrowing range of options, including travel leagues as increasingly expected, is part of the problem. It seems that if our kids want to play a sport, there’s no other option besides doing it at ultra-high competition levels starting at young ages. This requires many hours and even more dollars. Say goodbye to family dinners, family vacations, and college savings, all in the name of . . . what exactly?

I’ve been questioning: why are we doing this?

Dreams of College and Olympics

If investing years of time and money into competitive sports is in ultimate hopes of a lucrative college scholarship, it’s unlikely. The numbers don’t lie.

Consider this:

●      Less than 4% of soccer, football, and basketball high school players go on to play for a division I or division II school.

●      Only 1% of high school athletes receive a division I scholarship, and the average amount covers maybe 20-50% of tuition, depending on the type of college.

●      Many parents spend more money on youth sports over the years leading up to college than on the cost of some colleges!

●      Only .2% of high school athletes will achieve the highest levels of success (professional or Olympian status).

The Good Stuff

Of course, there are other reasons for encouraging our children to play sports than as a ticket to scholarships or the Olympics. A huge draw is the belongingness that sports communities offer, especially as our children age into adolescence when having that sense of belonging matters greatly for emotional well-being. There are many other known benefits of sports participation that probably influence us wanting our kids to play. Research has found:

 ●      Teens on a team appear to be happier, report higher self-esteem and lower anxiety, and have less risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior.

●      When coaches have undergone coach effectiveness training, their student athletes report higher satisfaction, motivation, and self-esteem and less dropout. (Coaches are important!)

●      Sports participation has predicted a range of stronger skills useful in life: goal setting, time management, emotional control, leadership, wisdom, social intelligence, cooperation, and self-exploration.

The Danger Zone

As many benefits as sports may bestow, those disappear without moderation. High schoolers who spend 15-20 hours a week on extracurricular activities have reported more emotional symptoms like depression and anxiety, less sleep, and higher stress levels. The problem with spending this amount of time on extracurriculars is quite simple: hours in a day are finite. They do not expand with all our interests. There’s only so much opportunity for sleep, fun, and down time, all of which buffer the effects of stress.

When structured activities and academics replace all hours of down time, the negative effects of stress become more potent. Depression and anxiety are not far behind. For example, I’ll never forget the fifteen-year-old who energetically assured me that her sunrise to midnight schedule (swim before school, theater and swim after school, squeezing in homework time for her rigorous private school classes) was awesome because she didn’t have time to feel sad or anxious. After months working together, she admitted having frequent panic attacks.

Playing through the Pain

As we wandered through the chaos of a gymnastics meet last winter, another mother (who happens to be a school nurse) and I shared our disbelief with what we saw and heard. Young girls with bandaged ankles and wrists back-handspringing major impact onto their wrapped and clearly injured joints. A mother in her blinged-out “Gymnastics Mom” sweatshirt raved about how well her daughter did despite barely being able to walk with her hurt knee. I looked around the arena of hundreds of girls, I’m guessing ages 6-14, and thought, “none of you will go to the Olympics.” But maybe one of them actually will, and I wonder how much that hope fuels pressure and expectations.

The greater amount of time our youth spend on sports compared to when we were kids is related to the trend toward specializing in a sport at younger and younger ages over the last 20 years. Extra time and specialization do not predict later athletic success. Did you see the dot in front of the 2 in the statistics listed above? Two-tenths of one percent of high school athletes go on to the pros or Olympics.  

Early specialization also carries risks, including peer isolation, burnout, physical problems, and increased dropout rates. My two daughters’ competitive gymnastics schedule, which happened to be the least intense of two team options, did not follow American Academy of Pediatrics guidance. In fact, my oldest daughter’s decision to quit her previously beloved gymnastics coincided with the team upping their practice hours and going year-round. She also seemed to lose the love soon after needing occupational therapy for over-use in her wrist. No more constant handstands all over the house.

“What’s Her Thing?”

So, with the known risks of early specialization and intensive participation directly at odds with the AAP recommendations, why are we doing this?

Again, I speak from life in a community that prizes youth sports, so this will not ring true for every family. (Although a book just came out that confirms this is a widespread problem: Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids Sports—and Why it Matters.) In my experience, there’s a sense of status and keeping up with what’s considered “normal.” Not to mention the convergence with the general fear in certain communities about making sure we do our part to ensure our children’s bright futures.

After my 12-year-old quit competitive gymnastics and briefly flirted with field hockey to discover “I don’t like fields,” she is currently doing . . . nothing. And it feels strange. Initially, I pushed a bit for her to find “a thing,” but had to ask myself why I felt the need. It might be because of how often in social situations I’m asked about my kids’ activities, and it feels more comfortable to rattle off a list rather than say “nothing.”

But the truth is that my nearly 13-year-old daughter is not doing “nothing.” She’s managing puberty and a middle school Lord of the Flies social life and figuring out who she is in the world. Maybe having more down time and mental space to cope with all of this, and to binge-watch Gilmore Girls, might help her do it better. That’s what I’m telling myself, for now. In truth, I can’t help but check in every once in a while on any inspiration she may be having for what’s next. When her brother and sister attempted teasing her about not having a sport, she said “It needs to be my idea and I don’t have one yet.” Fair enough.

Guilty

I may have a constant mental monologue about the ills of modern youth sports, yet I’m as guilty as any parent. My younger daughter is on the same competitive gymnastics team that her older sister quit. Not only does the cost keep increasing to affect our family budget, but two 3-hour practices a week has cut out two nights of family dinners. (And if she moves up to the next level, there will be a third 3-hour practice in the week. On Friday evening.) My son’s soccer schedule ramped up to two weekly practices now that he’s a third grader, and we still threw in a month of skateboarding lessons before the weather changes. If my older daughter were to announce she’s ready to take on volleyball or basketball or rock climbing (no fields!), we would make it happen. I keep trumpeting my complaints to anyone who will listen while going along with all of it.

Wish List

Knowing the risks supported by research and witnessing the downfalls in real time throughout my community, I can’t help but wish for a revolution in youth sports. I know I’m not alone. At a block party this summer, some other moms and I commiserated about the lack of more leisurely ways for kids to try a variety of sports. All of us have kids climbing the ranks of their respective sport of choice.

Just like I wish all the parents in my community did not allow cell phones or Fortnite until 8th grade, I wish we could all unite to resist the pull of intensive participation and ultra competition for our kids in sports. (What about casual rec leagues focused on fun and moving bodies instead of grooming talent with relentless side-by-side comparisons?) But it feels like a gravity-accelerated whirlpool of what’s now “normal” pulling us down all together into living a life we know is not the best, but we can’t help being part of it.

My ultimate wish is that youth sports included a wider range of choices. For those kids designed to excel at super competition (all Olympians were kids once), it’s great they have these options to advance through more rigorous levels. For kids who love to play and/or be part of a team even if they aren’t superstar material, it would be ideal to dial down the pressure on performance. And for kids who feel like dabbling just for the heck of it even if they never specialize, I wish there were more avenues—and acceptance—for that.

The collective goal should be: How can we pave more sports pathways than the current road to overdrive?

Soccer Star

My third-grade son is playing in his fourth season with AYSO, a volunteer-run youth soccer organization. They send regular emails reminding parents to shush on the sidelines, even having one “silent Saturday” per season to keep us in line. All of his coaches have focused on fun over victory, even sitting out that one kid who dominates (and may just end up in the pros) so everyone else has a chance for a glimpse of glory.

For my son, I see all of the positives of playing this sport that have nothing to do with going to college on a soccer scholarship. As a boy small and young for his grade, it’s a great way to build confidence; the physical outlet helps his mood and sleep; and he has fun away from the almighty pull of the iPad. Also, other parents and coaches have confirmed it’s not my mom bias when I say my son has potential. I admit visions of many soccer Saturdays ahead, maybe even cheering him on in high school. But I also want it to stay like this as long as possible: casual, low pressure, and focused on the fun.

When I tuck him in on Saturday nights, the satisfaction and exhaustion of another fun game behind him, I say, “I love watching you play.” No matter what his future holds, that won’t change, as long as he wants to keep playing.   

Reference

Merkel, D. L. (2013). Youth sport: positive and negative impact on young athletes. Open access journal of sports medicine, 4, 151.

 **You can pre-order my book Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children on Amazon and Bookshop.