The experiences of hurt and pain and joy and closeness teach our kids, and our kids need all of them to learn. We cannot (and should not) prevent the hardships, but we can be important “friendship coaches” -- if we can do it without too much whistle-blowing. 

So are saving money and streamlining the drop-off and pick-up routine making this decision at the expense of his academic and social success?

I see shadows of these same middle-schoolers and high-schoolers completely burned out by the time they get to college. It’s so clear from the vantage point of psychologist, that it keeps my high-achieving Mom impulses in check.

Although the science is clear, and school models have followed the science, real-life can leave more questions than answers: what counts as “bullying,” how do we know when it’s happening and what to do we do as parents if our child is being bullied — OR if our child IS the bully?

The constant stream of headlines about the dangers of social media adds stress to our baseline anxiety about parenting adolescents. No matter the generation, era, or state of technology, adolescence is a phase of huge growth and change that can be emotionally tumultuous for kids and parents alike. It also happens to be a risky time for mental health problems to show up, because of the stress of this time of life, genetic predispositions kicking in, or the combination.