The Blog
Truth in Parenting
Tearing your hair out over lack of sleep, daycare decisions, homework enforcement, or what to do with the toddler tantrum? Want to feel better about your own tantrum as you try and manage it all? Read my Truth in Parenting blog for evidence-based reassurance (The Art and Science of . . . ), my own True Mom Confessions, and get a sneak peek of what my book offers with Autonomy-Supportive Parenting Diaries. Not sure where to start? Try here.
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The Unicorn: A Sick Day for Mom
As a Mom, the common cold, flu, and stomach bugs take on a whole new meaning. They are totally disruptive to any semblance of routine, ruin any good sleep stretches, can add major work and financial stress, and if we get sick too, we can’t even wallow in it because most of us don’t have our Moms next door to take care of us.
The Cell Phone Dilemma
My 8-year-old daughter has been asking us for a cell phone since she was five. Obviously, the answer “no” has been easy, but the harder question to answer is “when?”
Too Many Toys
In this America, the land of excess, it has insidiously crept up on us with each birthday, holiday, random shopping trip, and vacation. Now we have an attic full of toys, a playroom full of toys, a bedroom full of toys, and a basement full of toys. A life full of toys, and full of mess.
A Mom, Three Kids, and Target
Meanwhile, other shoppers veer around and look at me with annoyed accusations in their stares – condemning me and my unruly children. I kind of want to disappear, and I kind of want to stand my ground and stare back with the message: “Hey! This is hard! We all make mistakes!”
The Universal Mom Cry of “Put On Your Shoes:” Blame the Brain
Do you hear my voice?
Do you hear the words I am saying to you?
In the six years of having at least a 2-year-old in the house to get ready, I have pleaded with these very words in an infinite loop.
The Road Trip: Finding Family
After our first day in Arkansas, my 8-year-old announced she wanted to live there forever. I have a theory it was because of the free desserts at lunch at my grandmother’s assisted living home, but I wonder if there was a deeper sense she had of the family connection that is often missing in our modern world of spread out families.
To Daycare or Not to Daycare
That's exactly why we need to tread carefully with how we read and respond to headlines about the effects of daycare. We don't need the already-present flames of guilt to be fanned by click-bait headlines preying on our fears.
Mommy Rejection: A Rite of Parenting
When one or many of our children go through the developmentally normal phase of rejecting us, it can hurt. It can rub salt into a wound we may not have realized was so raw and open. Where is the gratitude for what I do for our family? This is where we may have a very human response to what can feel like superhuman expectations as a parent.
The Truth About “Attachment” Parenting: From Failed BabyWearing to Daycare
I take on “attachment” parenting because these types of highly publicized, marketed, sometimes trendy approaches to parenting not only are largely theoretical, but can result in more guilt and stress for mothers feeling like they can’t do it “right.”
Homework: Is It So Bad?
Researching this topic actually changed me, and my parenting. I had fallen into the homework trap with my second grader, a portion of our short evening together devolving into tears and pencils flying through the air. My worries about her future work ethic pushing me to push her, even if I tried to do so with compassion and encouragement.
It Could Be Us, But It Wasn’t
This week, I thought of how many of us parents are wondering how to balance our fears with living life normally. How do we not want to keep our kids home from school just in case?
“Should”ing All Over Family Memories
So maybe we have these idealized visions of making family memories, because we really do remember the positive parts from our own childhoods – the feelings of closeness, tradition, and connection.
Why @thisisuscrying Is A Thing
The non-linear nature of the storytelling opens me up to feeling the bigness of those small, tender moments that I so wish I could tightly pack and store in my memory for perfect preservation.
“Who’s the Boss in Our House?”
This is the perfect illustration of what seems to be the biggest struggle for many of us in parenting: we are not in control. We can be in charge, at least most of the time, but control is an illusion – or delusion - depending on the day.
Where the Science Ends and the Art Begins: An Introduction
In this Art and Science of Mom space, we celebrate and embrace the imperfections, even as we constantly strive to do and be ideal versions of our parent selves.
I Know Stuff . . . And My Toddler Spits in My Face
I know all the stuff so that I SHOULD know what to do, but none of this knowledge prepares me for managing the mystery that is a Toddler.
The Art and Science of Sleep: The First Year
I consumed every nugget of information online or in print or through advice from other parents. Letting her cry-it-out accomplished nothing but a super stressed out me laying in bed wide awake, and her STILL not sleeping. I am an educated, reasonable, well-resourced woman; I couldn’t figure out this puzzle -- and there is no motivation like utter sleep deprivation.
Screen Time: Is It Really That Bad?
Today’s “screen time” has become complicated by so many types of screens and media, potentially available at every minute, that most parents feel a constant pull of guilt versus convenience.
Guess What? We Don't Always Have to "Put Down Our Phones"
You don’t know what my morning was like. You don’t know how much attention I have given my children in every other moment today besides this reprieve at the park.
The Art and Science of Discipline -- “I’m not in the mood for effective parenting!”
It is both heartbreaking and somewhat comical when our 2-year-old son says, “I don’t like when you scream at me. It cries makes me.” His brain is still learning how to put sentences together, but he sure understands enough about his emotional experience to let us know how our impatience affects him.