In our world of news from remote towns that would never have reached the rest of us before the expanse of the internet, it can feel like threat and danger lurk on every street corner, no matter how insulated our particular street corner seems.

My 8-year-old daughter has been asking us for a cell phone since she was five. Obviously, the answer “no” has been easy, but the harder question to answer is “when?”

That's exactly why we need to tread carefully with how we read and respond to headlines about the effects of daycare. We don't need the already-present flames of guilt to be fanned by click-bait headlines preying on our fears.

I take on “attachment” parenting because these types of highly publicized, marketed, sometimes trendy approaches to parenting not only are largely theoretical, but can result in more guilt and stress for mothers feeling like they can’t do it “right.”

Researching this topic actually changed me, and my parenting. I had fallen into the homework trap with my second grader, a portion of our short evening together devolving into tears and pencils flying through the air. My worries about her future work ethic pushing me to push her, even if I tried to do so with compassion and encouragement. 

In this Art and Science of Mom space, we celebrate and embrace the imperfections, even as we constantly strive to do and be ideal versions of our parent selves.

I consumed every nugget of information online or in print or through advice from other parents. Letting her cry-it-out accomplished nothing but a super stressed out me laying in bed wide awake, and her STILL not sleeping. I am an educated, reasonable, well-resourced woman; I couldn’t figure out this puzzle -- and there is no motivation like utter sleep deprivation.

Today’s “screen time” has become complicated by so many types of screens and media, potentially available at every minute, that most parents feel a constant pull of guilt versus convenience.

It is both heartbreaking and somewhat comical when our 2-year-old son says, “I don’t like when you scream at me. It cries makes me.” His brain is still learning how to put sentences together, but he sure understands enough about his emotional experience to let us know how our impatience affects him.

What is the number one job of parents to keep their children alive? Feed them. What could be more natural than feeding our babies and children? Well, for a lot of reasons, it can be pretty difficult and stressful.

Let’s add some sanity and reason back into our angst and chaos by asking these questions: 1. What do we really know? 2. What’s true for my child and family?

As a psychologist who promotes communication, positive family interactions, and focusing on strengths, I say this: we will all yell. But that's not all that counts, and the more you forgive yourself for it, the less you may actually do it.