If we open our eyes to it, grief is everywhere. That is why grief in childhood can actually be a gift as it allows children the opportunity to develop ways to manage grief that will help them throughout their lives. And the best news is that you are there to help them do it.

We are all scared. Fear is what I see playing out in the heated and emotional debates about parenting decisions in the age of COVID. We are all grieving the loss of normal while managing chronic, high anxiety. Where our fears may have been lurking in the backseat before, they are now in the driver’s seat, taking the wheel.

For anyone going through the grief trenches this year, whether it’s the first holiday season full of raw grieving you are still trying to figure out, or if it’s been years after a loss that always resurfaces with holiday reminders, you really are not alone.

I will tell you that based on my years working with dying, death, and grief in children, I almost always recommend that kids go to a funeral for a loved one. Here’s why and how.

In my years as a pediatric palliative care psychologist, I had hundreds of conversations about death with parents and children. It never got easier. I got better about knowing the words and what to expect, but I came to accept there was no way for this to feel like an “easy” or “good” conversation.

There is not a “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. My kids didn’t have to “act” sad to be sad. In fact, I think they were taking care of us on that day.